Before We Bid Farewell

credits to stairway_to_heaven.photo.net

In my earlier years of blogging, once I had a readership, I spent some time considering my audience. Would they be interested in a particular piece? Would it turn them off? Would they unsubscribe? Would I be relevant? Silly? Instructive? In the mix?

Now that I have been at it for awhile, those concerns no longer hamper me. Since I do not write for a living–and thus do not have to adhere to a prescribed style sheet or editor’s whim– I really am free.

It is because of this freedom, I confess, I still plug away, thinking of the verbs I choose and the content I share.

This evening, I’d like to comment on losing a parent as my dear friends did recently. Those of you who are in your teens/twenties may not have experienced the loss of mother or father. But you will, and as my dear friends Jeff and Veronica reminded me last month, don’t miss opportunities to connect with them because once they are gone, they are gone.

For me, losing my Dad was the most profound experience of my life. I say profound because well, I had no road map, no Virgil, no guide to show me what might happen and how my heart might ache. Having lost my dear Aunt a few months before Dad left us, the emotional impact then was comparatively less heartbreaking. And when Dad finally bade farewell, the tidal wave of emotions came crashing down.

I wasn't ready. But no one is ever ready.

Even if you are not close to your parent or your parent disappointed you or she didn’t live up to your expectations…losing a parent is profound.

Literature and cinema burst with such themes: the orphan crying over the dead parent, the lion cub crying over the dead lion king.

It’s all so surreal until it is your parent and he or she is no longer available to call or text or e-mail.

I know this sounds like an encounter group activity, but if your parent is still alive, send them an e-mail or call, or better yet, make time to visit and spoil them with showers of attention. And get the support of loved-ones who have experienced the same loss when the precious-ones finally bid you eternal farewell.

Opportunities missed are forever gone.

Goodbye Uncle Soong, may your soul attain the highest rebirth into the Purelands.



"Walk on a trail of loving kindness 
 Walk on a path of compassion 
 And all else around you will be beautiful." 
 Every Blessing