An Emo Blog Post Part III ~ When turds all smell the same

i just sat on the toilet and blurted this ‘eeeee’ sound. it sounded like a wheezing dolphin but less nasally, more choked. the toilet and the eeee-ing are unrelated. i mean, sometimes you sit on the toilet and you get all agitated because you are constipated and your butt has to work like a dairy-machine, churning and yet it is not consumable, and sometimes you stand because you have to pee and as the stream gushes out of you you remember what a fcukup you are and do a noise like a wheezing dolphin but sadder. how life seems clearer when we are sitting on that throne. i mean, to all those people who constantly think how fabulous they are, they still have to sit , probably do the same 'eeeee' and watch their butts churn out the same fragrant choc- butter that only malnourished plants crave for. i wonder, how fabulous can their life ever be, since we are all in the same bandwagon-of-the-dying. a Lama said it well, our biological clocks start ticking closer to death from the time of birth. thus, don't you dare blame me but i can only think about not being invited to someone’s party instead of wanting to attend a wake because as i always say, we are all dying so what's the fuss. what’s the word for always thinking about dying but never actually dying. well, not never. thinking about dying makes me so tired. i haven’t done a thing but i just want to curl up foetal and have someone kick the shit out of me for at least five eons. perhaps then that'll cure my "eeeee"s. hi, this is a blog post that aims to get your attention. i've been told too often that i'm so different from my facebook persona that i feel like bashing the next butt-face who says it. hi, this blog post says, PITY ME. hi, this blog post says, hello, i am a human, what are you? crazy people are attractive until they wile out about you, this blog post says. this blog post says, i don’t care that you know i am fcuked up. this is the kind of blog post that people delete their blogs after, i think. don’t worry. i am not going to do that because i am short on self-esteem. i sound bitter, that i know very well especially towards all those fabulous people. having been previously maliciously dictated by your psychotic behavior, my shitty life was validated then. the texture of my turd has improved since, thank you very much. nature paid my mom in karma points for carrying me all those nine months. next life, she might get to be rich, she’s already been beautiful. i continue to do ‘unapologetic personal blog’ because i am stubborn and a masochist. and this is a  healthy channel to vent my stupid feelings. and the one person who moved for me found religion. and i am always dying. and i always have to write when my hands and arms feel empty anxious inside. i’m sober. but it’s no longer just enough to write, you have gotta hit "publish" or you never exist.









"Walk on a trail of loving kindness
Walk on a path of compassion
And all else around you will be beautiful."
Every Blessing