My Guru, my Spiritual Friend

courtesy of Mandala Publications

My compassionate Guru, spiritual mentor and friend, the Incomparable Khensur Rinpoche Lama Lhundrup Rigsel, manifested passing away at Kopan Monastery, Kathmandu after manifesting metastatic stomach cancer since January 2011.

An excerpt of the account by Jo Hathaway, a pallative nurse from New Zealand and also a student of Lama Lhundrup who has been staying in Kopan since January 2011 to take care of him, best sums up the wonderful character of this special sentient being:

"Right from the first day that Lama Lhundrup came home to Kopan from the hospital in Singapore, his approach to illness was different from any other 'patient' I have cared for. As we began discussing new routines for feeding, Lama Lhundrup began swinging the end of his recently inserted stomach feeding tube in the air, laughing as he exclaimed, 'Look, my new mouth!'

"No matter what situation Dharma was always the first thing on Lama Lhundrup's mind," Jo said. At Losar, many people came to see him and made extensive offerings. After weeks of not eating anything by mouth, he was surrounded by mountains of the most delicious foods and drinks. He commented on his karma to have all his favorite treats while not being able to eat any of it. I suggested that he could chew the things he liked, just to get the taste. He replied woefully, “Then some danger coming.” I reassured him that it would be very safe as long as he spat out the food rather than swallow it. “Danger of more desire coming,” was Lama Lhundrup’s reply"Physical needs just doesn't rank as highly for Lama as they do for most ordinary human beings and he doesn't seem to pay much attention to any changes in his body. This could make our job of trying to keep a handle on what's happening a little tricky because, unlike most seriously ill people, he never complains of anything. Ever.

Once, when trialing a new medicine for nausea I tried to ask if he felt any different, better or worse than the previous day. He gave me a very puzzled look; yesterday was yesterday, there was no point dwelling on yesterday’s troubles today, and besides, what does it matter if the body is good one day or not so good the next? (So much for all my fancy symptom assessment training!) Even when the manifestation of Lama Lhundrup’s illness is very obvious, like when his body needs to vomit, he just grins at those around him and exclaims, “Samsara! Are you renouncing yet?”

"Lama Lhundrup's wish to make others happy also takes precedence over his own welfare. When we became concerned that physiological changes in his body may indicate that he was experiencing pain, I tried to ask him about it. The conversation started out well, 'Do you have any pain?' 'Yes.' 'Can you show me where the pain is?'  'Around here'  Then I fell into 'concerned nurse' mode while asking the next list of questions. Instead of answering, Lama Lhundrup said to me in a relaxed smile, 'You don't like pain?'  'No, of course not, Khenrinpoche' was my perplexed reply. (nobody likes pain, right?) Lama Lhundrup simply responded, 'Then I don't have pain.' And with that he turned back to his text and continued his evening prayers. End of conversation, end of my reason to be worried. 

"Another time again when we were discussing pain I asked him how he would like us to treat it. He replied, 'It is better to experience it, for the sake of all sentient beings.' Lama Lhundrup used the manifestation of illness to practise tonglen for others and he often tells people to send their worries and sickness to him so they can be free from sickness.  These days I suspect of out of compasssion for us and to ease our worry, Lama Lhundrup accepts a minimal amount of pain relief medication, just enough to enable him to concentrate well when doing his prayers and practices but without the need for, or intention of, stopping the experience of pain completely. His views on illness are definitely extra-ordinary!

Caring for Lama Lhundrup has been the steepest learning curve of my life. It has been more intense and confounding than any retreat, study or work I have ever undertaken. It is also more meaningful, rewarding and precious. I hope that whatever I am able to learn from witnessing first-hand a great Dharma master’s way of life and manifestation of illness, I will be able to make use of to be a better Dharma student, nurse, wife, daughter, friend and human being. In this way, I hope to repay at least a fraction of my guru’s kindness."



It has been a day of mixed-emotions; sad because of my ordinary human feeling of experiencing a loss, but glad that I've had the privilege and honour to have karmic connection with such a wonderful sentient being whose loving kindness and compassion was incomparable.

Thank you, my kind Lama.
Till we meet again.
Om Ah Hum.



Here is the full story by Jo: http://www.mandalamagazine.org/archives/mandala-issues-for-2011/october/khensur-rinpoche-lama-lhundrup/caring-for-lama-lhundrup/


"Walk on a trail of loving kindness
Walk on a path of compassion
And all else around you will be beautiful."
Every Blessing