Words that hurt

This afternoon, I decided to take a breather from the recent storms of worklife chaos that has plagued my very wellbeing which certainly did not augur well for my health. I took my seat at a comfortable side spot at a cafe and sighed, not in the usual stress-striken tone, but rather, more of a relief, happy that another tough chapter of client-politics had been won with not too much hassle. I ordered a tension-neutralizing chamomile, so unlike the usual harsh expresso that I usually gulp for that uplifting perk. Yup, it had been a real war this past month, something similar from a scene out of Sun Tzu's Art of War and although I have emerged physically unscathed, I couldn't say the same with my emotions; the war-of words that surely ensued from every battle-fought, and which often leaves us emotionally-drained. Or am I getting more emotionally fragile with age?

This thought led me to the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

How very untrue.

Words thrown at us do affect us - especially negative words. They can hurt us for a long time, well, at least for me, more so when the slay-words come from people close to us. They tear down our confidence, linger and stir like a whirlpool in our soul and put a stopwatch to our heart centre. Many things can cause negativity - unhappiness, anger, resentment, depression, loss, jealousy, envy, fear, any emotional upheaval, etc.

Emotion to be, can best be described as energy-in-motion. That energy is looking for a place to go and depending on the emotion we attach to it, it will find it's mark whether negative or positive.

If we think before we speak, we are less likely to have a negative impact because we have neutralized the negative emotion. I always remembered my late-Dad having quoted a chinese saying which translated to "words once uttered could never be taken back". Thus, it became a mindful thought to me that when we take responsibility for our actions, we become aware of our words.

By becoming aware of what we think, say and do, we are aligning ourselves with our positive side.

As the saying goes, "A closed mouth gathers no feet."

However, there are times when stronger words need to be spoken to protect our wellbeing from being unduly harmed. We cannot brush off the fact that there are people with unbecoming attitudes who cross our paths once a while. I do feel it is best that we make our stand known that their actions have crossed our boundry of reasonability; not to tolerate their crass behaviors and say our goodbyes.

Still, a sincere apology for words wrongly blabbed often leads to a good start to the recovery of possible relationship or friendship-lost for the wrongdoing(s) committed. Why sincere, you may ask? I refer to a recent quote posted by many in facebook which read as, " Apologizing : doesn't mean that you're wrong and the other person is right, it just means you value your relationship more than your ego", which although to a certain extent sounded positive, was also propagating insincerity. Does it mean that if we did not value the particular relationship, then it was alright not to apologize?

And yes, we could all agree that words spoken would be hard forgotten, we humans could have the minds of elephants, but I truly believe that the manner of regret would determine the depth of healing that takes place. It is on the basis of "to err is human, to forgive divine" that we could further allow the seal of heal.

We're struggling sentient beings chasing the wish of happiness after all. We could surely do with less negative emotional baggage trudging along the path we call life. Meantime, I'll endeavour to carry myself along the good path. Every single little positive step goes a long way to lead us towards the path of healing.

Meanwhile, my chamomile imbibes delight to my senses with its gentle aroma.

Life could only get better.








"Walk on a trail of loving kindness
Walk on a path of compassion
And all else around you will be beautiful."
Every Blessing