Blonde jokes to jumpstart your Monday!

You might have to think twice about this one.


A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. ‘How did this happen?’ the emergency room doctor asked her.
‘Well, I was trying to commit suicide,’ the blonde replied.
‘What?’ sputtered the doctor. ‘You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?’
‘No, Silly’ the blonde said. ‘First I put the gun to my chest, and
Then I thought, ‘I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants..
I’m not shooting myself in the chest.’

‘So then?’ asked the doctor.
‘Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, ‘I just paid $3,000.00 To get my teeth straightened I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.’

‘So then?’
‘Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: ‘This is going to make a Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the Trigger.

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A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, ‘Why, that’s a thermos….. It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.’

‘Wow, said the blonde, ‘that’s amazing….I’m going to buy it!’ So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.


Her boss saw it on her desk. ‘What’s that,’ he asked?
‘Why, that’s a thermos….. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,’ she replied..
Her boss inquired, ‘What do you have in it?’

The blond replied…..'Two ice creams and some coffee.'

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AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST


A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, ‘What’s the matter?’
The blonde replies, ‘Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.’

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, ‘Why don’t you go home for the Day? Take the day off to relax and rest.’
‘Thanks, but I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.’
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically…


‘What’s so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?’ he asks.
‘No!’ exclaims the blonde. ‘I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!’



Blondes Are The Best!
Have a wonderful week ahead, my dear readers! ^_^



"Walk on a trail of loving kindness
Walk on a path of compassion
And all else around you will be beautiful."
~Every Blessing