Mensa

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.


And the winners were:

1.* Coffee*, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2.* Flabbergasted*, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. *Abdicate*, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. *Esplanade*, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5.* Willy-nilly*, adj. Impotent.

6.* Negligent*, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7.* Lymph*, v. To walk with a lisp.

8.* Gargoyle*, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9.* Flatulence*, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10.* Balderdash*, n. A rapidly receeding hairline.

11.* Testicle*, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12.* Rectitude*, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted
 by proctologists.

13.* Pokemon*, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14.* Oyster*, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15.* Frisbeetarianism*, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16.* Circumvent*, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


And finally, for the new-homeowners, Will.I.Am and Cheryl .......

17.* Cashtration* ,n. The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
(readers were asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition)






"Walk on a trail of loving kindness
Walk on a path of compassion
And all else around you will be beautiful."
Every Blessing