Reflection

This year has been a somewhat turbulent year for me, having experienced many firsts, events that were more frustrating than pleasing. It's only November, usually the time to prepare for the December gala that has been a yearly ritual which I'm sure was not only for me; but for most others too. All the plans made in anticipation for year-end trip abroad, the grand Christmas Eve dinner at my cousin's, Christmas day turkey lunch with that delectable cranberry sauce, not-in-a-mood-to-work feeling during the last week of December and the countdown to New Year's day sitting under the fireworks.

But somehow, as I sat down looking out of my office window yet again, (been doing this quite regularly which might not be a good indication), I kinda felt this year would be different. Sometimes we know we need a change, but we can't quite put our finger on what exactly is making us unsettled, frustrated, or just plain down. But this time I do.

It was largely my desire for a never-perfect, but still laudable soulmate early this year that muddled my otherwise mostly logical approach to life. For once, I was not gripped by the fear of consequences nor being accused of being out of touch with my feelings. This time, I had let not my mind, but emotions to rule me, which would have been picture perfect if success was grasped.

However, this was sadly not-to-be and which had left me to ponder as to how best to move on with life; albeit with greater caution and control.

This leads me to this barmy November evening, leaving my in-tray full and out-tray still empty, doing a few mental exercises that I hope would pinpoint my goals to cover all the discrepencies and fallacies in life that I 've gone through recently. Yeah, it is not a wishlist for Christmas gifts, but rather, encompasses much more and certainly extends beyond the year. Please don't get me wrong, my generally positive attitude have kept the smiles and sunny disposition going. But this year has been somewhat different, perhaps due to the sad event that has overwhelmed me. And the dark grey skies today and for most of the week hasn't made things easier too.

I always find that by taking some time and write down my thoughts, worries and desires is a powerful way to clarify my thinking, confront fears and help secure commitment. I was not sure where to start, but decided to take a look of my life from a number of perspectives: relationships, work, money, health, creativity or "soul" and home. How do I really feel about these areas? I decided to be specific. What actions could I take to improve on them? I decided to think big and think small.

Watch our thoughts, for they become words.

Watch our words, for they become actions.

Watch our actions, for they become habits.

Watch our habits, for they become character.

Watch our character, for it becomes our destiny.

Thought I may as well share with you guys so here goes:

• A wish list ~ write it freely, then decide on some filters to help sort it. For eg. organize it according to what's possible, likely, requires miracles (keke!), short term, medium term, long term and so on.


• My life in a day ~ write a one-page summary of what's goin' on in my world. Write on my job, my family, what's bugging fuzzy-me and what I'm thrilled about. (lots, but not as much as what bugs me, darn it!)


• "If I had a year to live" ~ what would I want to do (other than shag a lot hehe) if I knew time was running out.


• The value of values ~ what do I care most about? Do i have a life philosophy? How does it relate to people, money, status, or the environment? (I do care, honest-to-goodness) What motivates me?

I'll then give myself probably until end-November to mull over my thoughts before deciding the action. I do hope seting goals will help me focus on what to achieve, while making plans maps out the route.

Finetuning comes next, making them:

• Specific ~ eg. "increase my jogs to five times a week" rather than just "get fit"


• Measurable ~ lose "three kilos" by CNY is a measurable goal with an end-point (then fill up with all those home cooked goodies but not over the same amount). "Lose some weight" is not.


• Attainable ~ set goals in tune with strengths and weaknesses.


• Time-specific ~ time frames focus resolve: "to visit Nepal by mid-next year" rather "as soon as I can".

Wish me luck....and all the best to you too!!!

Now to stop procrastinating and git my arse back to the chair so I don't have to stay up late to clear all that work!!!

N/b : Final episode of The Amazing Race Asia is on Astro tonight. Rootin' for the Malaysian actress and heiress!