I've read countless jokes on husband-wifey spats but these recent ones shared to me by my best buddy, although some familiar, certainly had me rolling-in-laughter. Sorry gals, I know these jokes were skewed to insulting the wifies ......... I'll do the balancing in an upcoming post.
Have fun!
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
~ David Bissonette
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
~ Sacha Guitry
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~ David Bissonette
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
~ Sacha Guitry
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~ Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
~ Anonymous
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
~ Dumas
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~ Sigmund Freud
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
~ Anonymous
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
~ Dumas
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~ Sigmund Freud
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
~ Anonymous
'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
~ Anonymous
'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage.'
~ Sam Kinison
'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
~ James Holt McGavra
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
~ Sam Kinison
'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
~ James Holt McGavra
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
~ Patrick Murra
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
~ Nash
You know what I did before I got myself a wife?
Anything I wanted to.
~ Anonymous
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
~ Henny Youngman
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~ Rodney Dangerfield
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'.
~ Patrick Murra
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
~ Nash
You know what I did before I got myself a wife?
Anything I wanted to.
~ Anonymous
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
~ Henny Youngman
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~ Rodney Dangerfield
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'.
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
~ Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
~ Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
~ Anonymous
~ Anonymous
14 comments:
eee
so crude
I think they were tickling my ribs a lot. Honestly, some jokes seem real to some friends! Now I wanna hear about bad hubbies, quick!
lolll... so many wise husbandsss... i think it roughly paints the same picture for plu or straight wifey :P, which makes us love it and hate it at the same time. thanks for the good laugh :)
OMG...I likes the last 2. But you better make sure your next post can balance it, or else...all husbands here will give you their wives. LOL
Certainly not the kind of post for the missus! heehee.
Bad hubbies please.
Haha! I've heard these jokes before. Some are brilliant! I'm still laughing though I've heard them before : )
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
~ Nash
I agree with this... hehehe
haha. cruelness of facts. i love the one with the funds transferred tho.
hahahahahahah
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
~ Anonymous
The 2nd guy thought that the 1st guy's wife died already when the 1st guy meant something else (read: she is fabulous, she is great, etc.). LOLs!
Hahaha. Some names do pop up in my head when I read some of the jokes ;)
Ok, now for the bad hubbies...
haha, what about this one?
http://beta.jokeyphone.com/player/dead/#/related
Medie ~ all for laughs, juz for laughs. :)
Twilight ~ I'm searching my funnies archive for the pokes on hubbies. :)
happy ~ glad you loved them. :)
KeenYee ~ ewwww, that's a shocking thought! all that naggy wives will drive me bonkers :P
Common ~ i'm sure you'll not dare to show these jokes to your wifey. :P
+Ant+
Foong & Beng ~ yup, me too. Still loved it after hvg read b4. :)
Willy ~ I'm sure yu've done the same screwed tactics on your other half. :P lolz
Nothamsap ~ you must be $$-minded! lolz
Saint ~ the 2nd guy is real witty, right? :)
Perky ~ so did mine. I'll use it against them the next time i see them, esp the hen-pecked ones hehe!
Deb ~ lolz. Thanks, enjoyed it. and thanks for droppingby. :)
+Ant+
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