Clear Your Monday Blues Away!

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his smallchair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!" he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. "Who has been eating my Porridge?!!" he roars.

Mama Bear puts her head through the serving hatchfrom the kitchen and yells ..."For Christ's sake, how many times do we have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mama Bear who got up first, it was Mama Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Mama Bear who made the coffee, it was Mama Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away, it was Mamma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Mama Bear who set the damn table, it was Mama Bear who put the friggin cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and, now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs,and grace Mama Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I'm only going to say this one more time .....

"I HAVEN'T MADE THE F)@%$^* PORRIDGE YET!"

And some Signs of the Times!

In an Office block:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STANDUPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS ADAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD, FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR -THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Have a fun week ahead, dear readers!